


Liar, liar.

by mellababy101



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:25:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellababy101/pseuds/mellababy101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin breaks things off because he's too old for Roxy and he cares about her too much to let her fall in love with him, even though he's just as head over heels for her.</p>
<p>Or </p>
<p>"You're supposed to break up with someone because you're not in love with them, not because you're completely in love with them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liar, liar.

Roxy didn't think much of it at the time. She was easily vocal during sex and Merlin was especially good at pleasing her. He'd already made her come twice that evening so she was almost delirious with pleasure when he did it for a third time. 

"Fuck, Merlin I love you." She moaned and Merlin's hips stuttered. She would've caught the way he stared at her in surprise but the moment was over before she could open her eyes to check his expression and he was thrusting into her harder and faster. She came a third time when she felt him come inside her and lied back, letting her body stretch out. Merlin gave her a kiss on the shoulder before he got up and fetched a washcloth. He came back and wiped them down and Roxy didn't think anything of it; this was almost routine for them. But instead of crawling into the bed with her and holding her, he started getting dressed. 

She worried her lip between her teeth as he slipped back into his tux but didn't say anything, just brought the sheets over her breasts because she felt oddly exposed. She'd never felt like that before - nudity was almost a given when it came to Kingsman - and it hurt that she felt that way now, with Merlin especially. 

"You're not staying?" She asked casually, trying to sound nonchalant the way Eggsy did when he was trying to hide his emotions. She wasn't sure she pulled it off because Merlin didn't look at her right away, and he had a poker face when he finally did. 

"No, I'm not. I think we've had our fun, don't you think? I thought it was a mutual lust we shared but I can't ... I can't give you more, Roxanne, and I think we should end things before you get hurt." He said and she was so bewildered by his words that she almost lost her own poker face. He was looking at her indifferently, the way that he looked at the agents in HQ because he had to maintain his Merlin façade, and she ached at the look. She thought it had turned into something else than just sex but she was apparently very wrong. She blinked a few times and looked down at her covered legs to gather her bearings before replying. 

"Ah, sure, Merlin. Of course." She said easily, giving him an elegant nod in dismissal. The approving nod he gave her in return made her stomach twist and she absolutely burned with it. She thought they'd been on the same page this whole time. The first times they'd had sex had been about the lust between them but it had evolved into something else. He kissed her more in bed, and he always wiped them off, and he wrapped her up in his arms until she fell asleep and he cooked her breakfast the morning after, and he let her pad out of his bedroom in nothing but his long sleeve shirt and he walked her dog when she was fucked out in his bed and - 

He didn't love her. That's what this was about. There was no way that he'd gotten that idea if she hadn't been sex-stupid and blurted those three stupid words. And now she was going to lose him.

Merlin left without a backward glance at her and she waited until she heard the door click to let the tears fall. She was still naked in the bed and his scent was still on her pillows and she desperately wanted to hold one to her face but she couldn't because if she did, she'd admit to her heart break and she was stronger than that. She was a spy - god damn it. 

So she called up Eggsy and got plastered with him and avoided his curious glance at her puffy eyes and felt a certain kind of fondness at her best friend for not prying and letting her drink her sorrows away. He danced with her to the throbbing beat of the music until she was tired enough to go home and fall asleep in the bed that Merlin had left her in. 

The next couple of weeks were awful. Roxy was professional enough to act like nothing had happened at work but Merlin didn't smile at her much and he was strictly business when he handled her missions. She almost asked Harry to assign her a new handler because the sound of Merlin's deep brogue in her ear was more distracting than helpful but decided against it for fear that she'd never get to hear his voice. 

Still, even though they were both professional agents who were dealing with each other in an adult manner, Eggsy was still a perfectly observant spy. So when the gears finally turned in his head, he started being a bit overprotective of her in front of Merlin. 

He'd hold her hand when they walked in the halls and he'd press kisses to her temple and he'd walk around with his arm over her shoulders if they were on a mission together. Most of the agency thought they were together and well, Roxy wouldn't even bother denying the claims because she almost wanted Merlin to ask her about it. Of course, he didn't, and Roxy knew what Eggsy was up to so she knew he didn't mind. 

Merlin finally snapped at her when she and Eggsy were practicing in the shooting range and Eggsy slipped into her cubicle to hold her shoulders and fix her form. Of course Roxy didn't mind - his weapon scores were still two percent better than hers - but Merlin did. She didn't even notice him walk into the range until Eggsy gave her a kiss on the cheek and slipped back into his own cubicle. She could see Merlin take the target two cubicles down from her and frowned at his ferocity. He was shooting straight at the middle of where a heart would be, shot after shot and she knew it wasn't coincidental. She put her weaponry away and left. 

A few hours later found them stuck in Merlin's lab when the power went out in the door and also in the tube. 

"Merlin?" She asked, though she hated to address him when it didn't concern work. He regarded her warily. 

"Yes?" 

"The doors won't open." She told him. He frowned but tried the door and found that it was, indeed, locked. Merlin fidgeted with control panels and electric boards on his computer but found that the circuit connecting the power to the door had been shorted. He contacted Harry but was informed that the electric technician who could fix it from the outside would be a few hours. 

Roxy's stomach dropped to her feet. Hours ? With Merlin ? 

She curled herself in a chair and brought out her tablet without addressing him. It was tense and quiet for a while until she got into the research paper she'd been working on. 

Eggsy texted her and sent her a picture of JB sleeping on Percival's lap to make her feel better. She laughed softly, having forgotten Merlin sitting a couple of feet away from her, until he looked at her and caught her gaze. She lost her smile quickly and turned back to her tablet but her shoulders were tense and Merlin could see it. 

"Are you talking to Eggsy?" He asked her unexpectedly and she blinked at him. 

"I am." She answered. His mouth thinned he nodded a little before fiddling with his watch. She watched him curiously, wondering if he had more to say since she hadn't heard an unprofessional question directed at her from him in over a month. 

"I uh -" He cleared his throat. "I'm happy for you. For you and Eggsy." He clarified and she wasn't expecting that so she couldn't quite down tamp down on the anger that his words caused. 

"You're a coward, Merlin." She snapped at him and stood up. 

"A coward?" He asked, his voice icy. "How do you figure?" 

"You'd rather lie to me and tell me you're happy about me being with another man than face your own feelings." She growled. She didn't know where her anger was coming from but now that it was there, she didn't curb it. 

He stood up angrily too to face her. 

"My feelings? And pray tell what those would be?" He asked sarcastically and she was mad enough that he'd been so cold to her lately that she told him her thoughts. 

"Oh please, Merlin. You can act like I'm a silly girl with a school crush all you want but you love me, too. You wouldn't act so cold and be so jealous of what you think is going on between me and Eggsy if you didn't. You broke things off because you were so set on being a cold-hearted-I-don't-wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve-spy that you ran from something real. Can you honestly stand here in front of me and tell me you don't love me? Do it." She demanded. 

"I don't love you." He answered coldly. His face was so honest and controlled and he didn't even look like her words had affected him so she almost believed him. But then she saw a muscle in his jaw twitch - his tell - and she knew she'd hit home with her words. 

"Bullshit." She replied and that was all Merlin needed to walk her back and kiss her until her back hit a wall. She gasped at the roughness of the wall behind her but didn't pay it too much mind because Merlin was kissing her - 

He had one strong hand on the side of her neck - long fingers spread out from the corner of her ear to the center of her throat - and used the other one to cup her thigh and bring it up around her waist. She did the same with her other one and moaned when it made Merlin press against her.

She broke the kiss to breathe but Merlin didn't stop kissing her. He sucked on her neck and bit her ear until he made her breath hitch in her throat. 

"You've been such an arse, Merlin." She gasped as his hand squeezed her bum. He growled against her and pulled away from her bruised neck to look at her.

"You made me jealous on purpose with Eggsy." He accused and she shook her head, a smug smile gracing her lips. 

"I didn't do anything. It was all Eggsy and he didn't even tell me why he was doing it." She admitted. He growled again but nuzzled her face over so he could keep kissing and sucking marks into her neck. 

"Mer - Merlin." She whimpered his name, scratching at his shoulders when he kissed a particularly sensitive part of her neck. The way she said his name must've done something for him because he groaned and thruster his hips into her, making her acutely aware of how hard he was against her ass. 

"I want you." He told her, whispering the words against her neck like they were a secret. She would have reveled in the words another time but she was so desperate all of the sudden that she couldn't even find the will to tease him about it. 

"I bet the doors are working now. Eggsy was suspiciously nonchalant about us getting locked together in here." She admitted. Merlin rolled his eyes but set her down, giving her one more long kiss before messing with the control panels again. He touched something on the screen and the doors made an airlock click sound before opening again. 

Roxy walked over to Merlin and wrapped her arms around his neck. 

"Take me back to that big bed you fucking left me in." She ordered. He smiled down at her and she frowned - she was trying to be assertive and Merlin thought she was being cute. 

"Yes, ma'am."


End file.
